Born under a bad sign

"Oh, Life, you never introduced me to Lady Luck,

But you always remember me when you need someone to fuck"

The above two lines sum up the essence of my tryst with luck. I have never been lucky, plain and simple. Never has it been written on one of those coupons you get when you buy 10 bags of potato chips that "Congratulations!! You have won a car." All I ever get is a measly 2 bucks off on the next bag of chips I purchase. 2 bucks!!!? Hey, frito-lay people, I spent a 100 bucks buying potato chips, and all I get are 2 bucks? How about a night on the Victoria Secret's yacht? I ate your god damned chips, didn't I?

And no matter how much I wished, never have I gotten a railway seat next to a pretty girl. Have you ever been in a situation where the seat next to you in a bus is the last one empty, and a nice girl climbs on and your heart starts racing that today is gonna be my lucky day? I am pretty sure that in your case, the girl would be sitting next to you in the next few moments. But not in my case, no. God likes to tease me now and then, fuck that...he likes to tease me every moment of my life. In my case, the girl would be followed by an old woman, with bad breath and a butt the size of your new 42 inch plasma tv. "Beta, yeh seat khaali hai?" For once, I would like to say, "Seat dekhte hi PT Usha ki tarah bhag sakte ho. 10 minute khade hokar travel nahi kar sakte" And while this conversation with dadima is going on, the conductor would have courteously offered the hot girl his seat. Go ahead, you sonofabitch, you ain't gonna get nothing from her, except a "Thankyou, bhaisaheb"

Luck has never favoured me. Not in my professional life, and never in my personal life. They say that opportunity knocks on your door, but temptation leans on it. Well, if opportunity could somehow take time to walk up to my door, couldn't it just kick temptation's butt and come in? I wish God had a representative in every country. Someone you could walk up to(or maybe write to) and ask, "How much would it cost to shine the light of luck in my direction every now and then, eh?" Yeah, I would try to bribe God's representative. How much would he want? 50 bucks, a 100? 500? I would sell some of blood and bribe him. Him/her, whoever.

One might say that I am cribbing a lot. Actually, I am not. I am just wondering why for some people everything seems to go the right way, while for others, every turn is a wrong one. I know it is not hard work. Unlucky people work hard too. They have to, to balance out all the misfortunes coming their way. I am wondering why the seat next to me is never occupied by a hot girl. I am wondering why of all the seats empty in the bus, the dadima prefers to seat next to me. I am wondering why there is power cut every time the fashion channel is showing a lingerie event. I am wondering why a nearly empty bus follows after I have just climbed in a crowded bus where you have to hang on to a window.

Actually, the reason I am thinking about luck is that I need lots of it. Its said that success is 95% perspiration and 5% luck. Perspire, I cannot. I am a lazy bum. I might appear to be very busy, but actually I am not. So, with the placement season coming up, luck is all I can bank on. So, please God, if there is one, grant me one day's luck and get me a good job and I promise you I would stop cribbing. (Fingers crossed)