Wow....my last post was 2.5 years back. So many things have changed since then. I am married, have a daughter (in that order) and I have changed jobs. Time flies real fast man! I remember when I was a kid, I couldnt wait to grow up. Be like my parents with a job and money to spend. I would think that it was cool that adults can spend money without asking anybody for permission, while I would have to beg and make a puppy dog face to ask for 10 bucks.
I would always discuss with my friends about how cool our parents have it. No school, no homework, no begging for money, no 7 PM curfew, nothing. One cannot stop growing up and before I knew it, I was sitting for the placements in IRMA looking forward to my first paycheck and independence from my parents regarding money.
But now that its been five years in the "grown up" world, I realize that life as an adult is much much worse than life as a child, and here's why:
1. Yearly reviews: I remember how I would try to hide my report card at the end of each year from my parents. It would feel like my whole world was going to collapse if my parents saw that the highest marks I obtained was in SUPW. I hated those report cards. My mom would show me an A+ which I scored in Prep class and say, "Kitna intelligent tha. Ab dekh. Awaragardi karta rahta hai". I hated those annual moments of Parent Teacher meetings getting appraised by my teachers. "He can score good, if only he concentrates more and talks less. Only if he studies more and plays less. Only if he works more and eats less and so on and so forth......"
But atleast, those appraisals would happen only for 12 years. But as an adult, you have to face these damn appraisals for 30-35 years. "You have performed well in this area, but in this particular area you have fared very badly. So, overall, you have not performed at all" Atleast as a child, your marks, or lack of them would not affect the economic situation of your household. But with inflation running like a rabbit and salary ambling along like a tortoise, the appraisals affect your economic situation.
2. Homework: Why the hell did teachers give homework? Couldnt they finish the syllabus during school time. Doing my homework would eat into my Swat Cats, Ghostbusters, Batman time........basically sitting in front of the TV picking my nose time. In the age where friends were the only Google you had, someone would mention that in countries like USA and Greenland, children were not given any home work. In fact, children were spanked across their bums if they did not go out and play during the evening. We would sit during the lunch breaks and imagine living in such places. I couldnt wait to grow up and do away with all this homework shit once and for all.
And then these bastard computers were invented. Since the computers, laptops and internet have become common, there is no concept of offices and homes. You basically transport your ass from one place to another, but the function it performs remains the same - to sit on a chair while you type in reports and respond to emails. Yeaaaaaaah.....its a 3 day weekend - you would shout when you see the office holidays calender but basically it means you would be sitting at home doing home work for three days rather than going to the office.
Atleast your parents helped you out for doing your homework because they wouldnt want Sharmaji's son to score more than you in the exam whereas with the office homework you are on your own.
4. Getting up and sleeping when I want: I remember that the most fun programs would start on TV after 9 PM. Like Aahat, Tahekikat and the 18+ certified movies on Star Movies. But everyday, I would have to finish my dinner by 9 and get into bed by 915. This was a rule which was unbroken as long as were did not go out of station and this continued till I was in 6th standard. Everyday I would go to bed with a pout on my face and begging my parents to let me watch TV for 10 more minutes.
Also, I would have to wake up at 545 AM in the morning, be it either summer or winter because our school bus would come at 630 AM sharp. I hated going to sleep early and getting up early was always a chore. I couldn't wait to grow up and sleep till 7 AM and wake up till 11 PM to watch TV (I know, I had very low ambitions).
But alas, humans are never meant to be satisfied. Now that I am an independent working adult, I cannot wait for retirement and old age to come when I can sleep when I want and get up when I want and basically park my ass in front of the TV and maybe even sleeping in front of it. But that another entry for another day. My dreams of a post-retirement life.
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| This is what came up when I googled images of Beggar with puppy dog face |
I would always discuss with my friends about how cool our parents have it. No school, no homework, no begging for money, no 7 PM curfew, nothing. One cannot stop growing up and before I knew it, I was sitting for the placements in IRMA looking forward to my first paycheck and independence from my parents regarding money.
But now that its been five years in the "grown up" world, I realize that life as an adult is much much worse than life as a child, and here's why:
1. Yearly reviews: I remember how I would try to hide my report card at the end of each year from my parents. It would feel like my whole world was going to collapse if my parents saw that the highest marks I obtained was in SUPW. I hated those report cards. My mom would show me an A+ which I scored in Prep class and say, "Kitna intelligent tha. Ab dekh. Awaragardi karta rahta hai". I hated those annual moments of Parent Teacher meetings getting appraised by my teachers. "He can score good, if only he concentrates more and talks less. Only if he studies more and plays less. Only if he works more and eats less and so on and so forth......"
But atleast, those appraisals would happen only for 12 years. But as an adult, you have to face these damn appraisals for 30-35 years. "You have performed well in this area, but in this particular area you have fared very badly. So, overall, you have not performed at all" Atleast as a child, your marks, or lack of them would not affect the economic situation of your household. But with inflation running like a rabbit and salary ambling along like a tortoise, the appraisals affect your economic situation.
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| Apply the same principle in salary increments, of course not with such high percentages |
2. Homework: Why the hell did teachers give homework? Couldnt they finish the syllabus during school time. Doing my homework would eat into my Swat Cats, Ghostbusters, Batman time........basically sitting in front of the TV picking my nose time. In the age where friends were the only Google you had, someone would mention that in countries like USA and Greenland, children were not given any home work. In fact, children were spanked across their bums if they did not go out and play during the evening. We would sit during the lunch breaks and imagine living in such places. I couldnt wait to grow up and do away with all this homework shit once and for all.
And then these bastard computers were invented. Since the computers, laptops and internet have become common, there is no concept of offices and homes. You basically transport your ass from one place to another, but the function it performs remains the same - to sit on a chair while you type in reports and respond to emails. Yeaaaaaaah.....its a 3 day weekend - you would shout when you see the office holidays calender but basically it means you would be sitting at home doing home work for three days rather than going to the office.
Atleast your parents helped you out for doing your homework because they wouldnt want Sharmaji's son to score more than you in the exam whereas with the office homework you are on your own.
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| Like Sunny Deol taking on the whole pakistani army.........but you are no Sunny Deol |
3. Money: This was the part for which I couldnt wait to grow up. Earning money and spending it on things that mattered in life. Like video games, cool drinks, patties, pizza, burger and movies. Hey, as a child thats all you want. Although my parents never refused to give me money, but I couldnt wait to become independent in terms of earning and spending money. Wouldnt it be great to dive in like Scrooge Mcduck every month into your bank account?
And then I realised what a trap it is. Spending money as an adult is as much an effort as it is earning it. By the time the salary is credited to your account, the Government already has bitten into it through the income tax department. Next comes the loan officers and the credit card departments and the EMI folks. They are as much happy at your salary being credited, or may be more, than you are. Then comes your investments and savings and retirement funds. So, basically what you started out with was a big juicy slice of pizza but what you end up with is a little something more than the outer crust with which you have to satisfy your hunger.
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| Other kids watched porn for fantasy, I watched Maalamaal |
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| Begging with a puppy dog face |
But as an adult, it is twice as hard. You don't feel like sleeping even at 1 AM in the night and you don't feel like waking up even at 8 AM in the morning to go to office. The bed is such a magical place that if you are out of the bed you dont want to get on it, but once you are sleeping, you never want to get out of the bed.
But alas, humans are never meant to be satisfied. Now that I am an independent working adult, I cannot wait for retirement and old age to come when I can sleep when I want and get up when I want and basically park my ass in front of the TV and maybe even sleeping in front of it. But that another entry for another day. My dreams of a post-retirement life.
